When It's Not In The Land Of The Living
One of the hardest things about praying and waiting for something in life is the knowledge that it may not be something that comes to fruition in your lifetime. When we were in our years of praying for a child, there was a part of me that had to reconcile with the thought that we may never see that dream realized. Even though I was hoping to see the “Goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (as I defined His goodness as giving us a child), I knew there was a strong possibility our family may not look the way we’d imagined.
I’ve been thinking about this a great deal lately as I’m still processing through the loss of my Father-in-Law last year and as I walk with some other friends through difficult times. I know that we’re not promised a good outcome, but that God will be faithful. In those moments of longing, it’s difficult to wrap my mind around this truth and hold onto the goodness God is always displaying. I want to press into the hope that the resolution, the victory, the healing will come while I’m still here to see it. But, sometimes the “Goodness of God” is in the journey or in the lessons learned. We see His hand even as we have to say goodbye to someone.
As I miss my Father-in-Law’s presence in our lives (especially for my daughter), I am reminded that his spirit and legacy lives on in his son and in all of the lives he impacted while he was here. We get to tell our daughter stories of how our family began and what it means to bear our name. I can see, in so much of how my husband operates as a man, husband, and father, that he learned invaluable things from his dad that have made a tremendous impact on our lives.
Waiting is hard. We have these desires so deeply implanted in us that it’s difficult to see past them. A monumental shift in perspective is sometimes needed to glimpse the tiniest bit of good in these unthinkable journeys. But, God is always there with His goodness pouring out and His gentle voice singing over us. I’m grateful that He knows us intimately and is working all things together for His purpose and our good.
If you’re in a season of waiting, I’m praying that you can see the goodness along the way. I pray you can see the tiny miracles that kiss your day and come in the most unexpected ways. I hope that you get what your heart desires while still in the land of the living. But, if not, I pray you can see the ways that God is good even in the midst of trials and longing.
